when both parties have different views on a SINGLE issue.
So i took my father's mother(grandma) to the hospital today, from 8am to 4pm.
*sure lah! U.H ok? It's semi-government so you have to wait ! No money what to do?*
Disagreement arises on the question of whether who should be more responsible in taking care of my grandma's health and well being- her son and daughters ( which is my dad-the only son among 10 siblings- and my 9 aunties) or is it only my dad?
You may wonder, why la ask this type of question. EVERYONE should take responsibility for everyone's well being, especially among our own family members.This is not even an issue! But sad to say, that's an issue in my circle of family. T.T
So i woke up unusually early to accompany my grandma to the hospital this morning.
7.45am, aunty took grandma and me to the hospital.
On the journey, Aunty to me : Your dad lives with grandma ma, so he should take her to the hospital everytime. It's his obligation. And if he is working, your mom ought to take up this responsibility.But she also doesn't want to care like that, where can?
Grandma : She don't want to take me de lah.
( well, very common situation of no-good-feelings between mothers and mother-in-laws.This kinda thing always add oil to fire!)
8.00am- put on a face mask and stepped into the hospital.Realized I din't bring my cell phone.holyshit!
10.00am- blood test.
The nurses in Klinik Perubatan U.H are not nice at all, well, except for only one.But kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga loh, especially the one who did the blood test for my grandma.
So that lady in the blood test room hasnt called my grandma's no. after 2 hours. And my aunt decided to go in and approached the nurse in that room. She saw her poking sth and upon confrontation, she called my grandma's no. rightaway. wtf.
So what happens if my aunt didnt approach her? She takes her own sweet time poking something while we, who are told to wait to be called, hold back like fools?
"By right you should go to the ground floor for this blood test", she said while conducting the blood test on my grandma, with a very impatient, cynical, LCLY tone and stare.wtf.
I thought. Is it stated anywhere that we have to get our blood test done on ground floor and not here, first floor, because you want to sit here and relax and don't want to do a god darn simple blood test for my grandma? what's wrong with you?
I grew angry ( but managed to act a bit cool :P) , pulled down my mask and replied in a stern voice " what do u mean by BY RIGHT? Do u think any other patients or I will know that when what we get is only a blue crumpy appointment card, w/out any proper guide or directions at all? Moreover, it's the nurse at ' kaunter pertanyaan' who told us to take the blood test here! Don't u think u guys shud have proper guide so that people would know what to do, where they shud head to and how long they shud wait?"
Other questions I asked at the so called 'kaunter pertanyaan' were given " TUNGGULAH" answers.Dam it! If there's an appropriate guide,would i even think of wasting my energy to approach the impatient bunch of nurse for questions?
She replied " So sekarang saya beritahu you , you sudah tau lah"
wtf. She then said " result kena tunggu.datang selepas 2 jam " =.=
10.30-12.30pm- pissed! but went for lunch and chilled.
12.45pm - back to U.H. Went to the 'kaunter pertanyaan' and darn it! I met the same lousy nurse from the blood test room- i shud have gotten her name and recorded the way she responded!too bad my phone was not with me.argghh!-
Like I said, there's no proper guide;Instead, there are some printed "Piagam pelanggan" and "Nilai nilai teras" they pasted on a notice board.This is what it says on the piagam pelanggan......
PIAGAM PELANGGAN
1.1 Setiap pelanggan akan dilayan dengan baik, mesra, bertimbangrasa, hormat, bersopan santun, jujur dan ikhlas tanpa mengira kaum.
.....
.....
.....
But I say it's bullshit.
That nurse * i really wished i got her name* completely ignored my presence when i stood in front of the counter's desk! wtf
I have to go" EXCUSE ME!(clear, loud, strong, unhappy voice.paused till she looked up at me) ..."then my question.
In the end, I had to knock two doctors' door and asked them personally. really sucky!
1.15- 2.15pm
waited for our no. to be called.
2.15pm
Finally, met the doctor! Dr.Ting SK, if i remember, is nice- prolly the nicest person I've met in the entire klinik perubatan.
felt better after the 6 hour waiting.
3.00pm Made the next appointment and took medicine.
4.00pm Back home. Told mom about the next appointment, and she said, inform aunty too. So she called aunty.
yada yada yada.
Then, conversations turned very emotional. Tone not nice d...
Mom to aunty : I have been taking her(grandma) to the hospital for the past many times. Who said I don't care? You guys are all her daughters, it's not right to say "YOU ARE(which refers to my dad and mom) OBLIGED TO TAKE CARE OF HER(grandma)" just because we are living in a house which grandfather had bought. She( grandma) is your mother too. It's a shared responsibility. I ran to my own mother and took her to clinics or hospitals too when she's sick- and i don't wait and push the responsibilities to my younger brother who is also living with my mom. Because if u care, u just CARE about your loved ones. You guys (aunties) some not working, some are free, why wont you accompany your own mothers for the checkups too?
FRACAS
And then ... all the little things came up, uncovered in an ugly manner during a conflict. It goes
" Last time ar.. you said... this, you did ..that.." " No, i dint!" " Yes you did!"
Then conflict continues.
Not nice. not nice at all!
But i told my mom, it's really good for you and aunties to sit down CALMLY and talk to one another OPENLY. Speak out everyone's own thoughts and point of views. There's no point talking behind one another's back, acting okay in front of one another with a tinge of dissatisfaction and disagreements on the other's actions and attitudes deep down. Moreover, grandma will surely feel bad and sad about this whole thing. Though she does spur up the fiasco with her biased thoughts, misinterpretations and wrong analyzations, she is still an 80 year old craving for a little care from all her loved ones.
Mom did it :) live long mom!
She asked for a peaceful round table discussion, and hopefully everyone could come over to our house and settle this- seemingly petty but potentially harmful- family issue.
*Well, I shared this not because i wana tell people the ugly things that happened in my family,this is NOT good! However, as both issues(family and poor service at U.H) are pretty significant to me and im feeling sad and frustrated over them, i think its okay for me to rant them out. Probably the same might happen to me or to you in the future? *touchwood*
Moral of the stories?
On the poor service at U.H issue , I'll take down the names of those who aren't interested in their jobs, and help them out a little. Who knows my complaint letters may drive them to some other careers where they will work happily?Probably I shud dress in formal too, so i'll look older and they won't think im a kecik miao who can be ignored. * lucky i have a loud voice. HUMPH!*Or maybe I should take over that place someday, so that when i walk by them got wind, and they will give their best ever service to my family and me. Then i shall question them : why can't treat everyone equally good? High power officers get better and efficient service, civil citizens you all treat like shit lah. You are fired! muahahahah :P
While on the family issue, I gotta remind myself to stay calm, be observant and open minded when these happen; I must have a better control of my emotions and my words, and would also like to remind everyone that we should see and listen patiently to everything from both sides, or else
CONFLICT will HAPPEN
The emcees.Great job!
Our turn for some steps!
Sang " The Climb" after I invited all lecturers and committee members on stage.
Thank you for coming, Ms.Dhaya, Ms.Rabiah and Ms.Hani !
Mom and dad
Blind
4 hours ago
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